For the second consecutive year the Serbian government--for security reasons--has prohibited the gay pride parade from being held on the streets of the capital city, Belgrade. A great debate is going on in the news and on interview shows about whether the parade should happen regardless of hooligans threatening to crash the festivities. It just so happens that I have first hand experience of the situation on the ground as I am in Serbia right now--when the pride parade was supposed to happen.
I grew up in Yugoslavia (today's Serbia), though I've been living in the quite liberal Los Angeles and San Francisco for the past 14 years. Over these years my homophobic tendencies have shifted into acceptance and loving-kindness quite naturally when it comes to minority issues. Considering that I grew up in Yugoslavia, I used to have a low awareness of gay rights and could not have predicted that today I would be a staunch defender of gay people among my fellow Serbian citizens. Like my other two week yearly visits to Serbia, gay rights is not typically a topic of conversation among my friends -- which is not strange as none of them are gay.
Until recently, I was not aware of how deep intolerance, misunderstanding, and hatred towards gay people ran in my country of origin. I was in denial for so many years, removed from the stark reality, living in a bubble and focused on my quest to become a doctor of psychology. Similarly, after living in San Francisco and Los Angeles I had also lost awareness of how conservative people in the Balkans are. This is not to say that there are no conservative people on the West Coast--I have met quite few--but for many years I was sheltered among educated academics and open-minded individuals. I lived in the most liberal city in the States and I had regular exposure to the diversity education on academic level. Double whammy.
Serbians aren't the only people with a homophobic attitude. One could name the nation and the issues seem to be the same. Russians have voted to have a 100 years ban on pride parade. In the Middle East one cannot even mention that gay people exist, let alone have a pride parade on the streets. It pains me to clearly see that I was born and raised in a homophobic and racist society without really noticing that aspect of my environment when I was younger. It took me many years of exposure to struggles of various minority groups in the United States to arrive at my current understanding of the diversity and a necessity to express oneself in the way that feels natural and normal.
In the last two days I listened carefully to the conservative and quite disastrous attitude of my fellow Serbians, friends and family. I cringed over and over again at statements that used to feel fine. While in my friend's car today on our usual drive into the city he commented on the big news that gay pride walk will not be happening by saying: "I have nothing against them. But why they want to walk? It just attracts attention and provokes the rest of the people. Why aren't other people who are sick doing the same -- like people with disability?" I was shocked and answered back: "That is precisely the problem! You are unconscious of your attitude towards a minority group and you just called them sick without blinking!"
I understand how hard it is for people in a conservative society to be aware of other people that seem different, but until each individual starts awakening to the reality around them most people will continue to dream the same homophobic fears. I was once that person and I did not have the understanding of the subtleties of homophobia and racism that was installed in me just by growing up in a society whose consciousness had not evolved enough to accept that there are healthy people out there who just want to be themselves, and instead of supporting them by walking along, I would have asked the same thing. It took many years of knowing people from LGBTQA community to change my perception. It was a gradual and a slow change. My hope is that the pride parade will happen soon in Serbia without incidents, and that hooligans will find better things to do then miss a soccer game to harass and violate someone's rights to be who one rally is--Gay and Proud!!
Slobodan Nesovic, Psy.D.
(Photo by Loz Flowers)
No comments:
Post a Comment