Over the past few
centuries, society has spent a great deal of time focusing in on
discovering the magnificent wonders of life outside of oneself. Some
of these wonders include the explorations of outer space, excavations
deep into the earth, and exploring the rich inner space of the ocean.
At this point in time, I strongly believe that for the betterment of
society, there must be the commitment towards the journey of
exploring and diving deep into our own inner worlds. This inward
journey can help us to magnify our full presence as we engage within
the world, and help us to discover the majestic universe within each
of us. Although it is not easy, I have found the cliché to be true,
of how the process of understanding how we are all an integral part
of the divine, to be enlivening and fulfilling in a way that just
looking outside of oneself does not.
From behind the scuba mask
When I was just a little kid, I used to
love to put on a scuba mask and spend hours at a time just floating
face down in our pool. Aside from the noise made by the pool filter,
and the voice of my mother checking in on me to see if I was okay,
there was a silence from fully immersing my head under water, which I
loved and found to be incredibly soothing.
A few years ago, I made a piece of art
from the perspective and angle of behind the scuba mask, and wanted
to capture the headspace of silence and non-judgment I felt when
floating under the water. This time however, I wasn’t just seeing
the bottom of a pool on the opposite side of the glass, but rather an
image and window into myself as I engage with the world.
On the opposite side of the glass
There was a sense of stillness from
behind the scuba mask, however the view on the opposite side of the
lens was an image of myself with the word fear written over my
forehead. To relay my inner struggle, I inserted a tornado and
lightening bolts coming from out of my mind and swirling above my
head. I inserted words such as paranoia, resentment, anger, anxiety,
and projection, blame and disconnect. It was a powerful experience
for me to create an image of myself caught in a whirlwind of fear and
relentless negative thoughts, but have the piece interpret myself
from a non-judgmental perspective.
Trees and faces
I want to use the rest of this blog to
focus in on the images I had placed directly behind me. There is a
person with no face, and a tree that is just a green blob on top of a
brown trunk with no details in the leaves or the bark of the tree.
They are supposed to represent my observation of how when I am in
that mental state of chaos, the lens in which I view the world lacks
the ability to see the nuances in life. I believe these images are
very relevant to most of society, and how we can get so caught up in
the chatter of our minds and fears. We miss out on the blessing of
getting to truly see others, as well as the deep beauty found in the
physical and natural world.
Seeing the sunset
I can remember a time in my life when I
would look out at some of the most extraordinary sunsets, yet I would
feel nothing. Those moments were very depressing because it reminded
me of how dead I felt inside. Today, I feel sunsets on an emotional,
physical and spiritual realm. I am able to walk by and just gaze at
a tree, and see its nuance, from the details of all the shapes and
sizes of the leaves, to the very patterns and deep lines found in the
bark. I love it when the sun is beaming directly over a tree, and
illumines each individual leaf with a golden shimmer. Those moments
remind me of how alive I feel today, and how my own self-awareness
has helped me to connect to nature. When I walk by a tree, I can
really feel the energy it omits, and the bond that is always there
between people and nature. It is invigorating.
Everyone has a story
My mom has always told me, “everyone
has a story,” and I have missed out on hearing far too many of
them. I am continually learning to not be afraid to look into the
eyes and souls of others, and risk the potential of them seeing my
humanity as well. We live in a world where far too many people do
not “see” one another.
Years ago, my inability to be present
and look into the eyes of individuals who were different then me, and
that I felt challenged by, was partially because of ignorance and
insecurities, and the fear of having to face these hard truths about
myself. I have come to find that the truth can truly set you free,
and so regardless of how challenging it is sometimes to look deeper,
I have dedicated my life towards pushing myself to see others as they
truly are, and not what society or I have projected onto them.
Things are not black and white
I have learned that life at its essence
is not the dichotomy that society always tries to frame it in, where
things are just good and bad, right and wrong. It is often framed as
a dichotomy when we feel threatened and don’t see the humanity in
those who may not be like us, and/or challenge our belief systems.
On my path towards wholeness, I have dedicated myself to opening my
eyes to the nuances in life, and have the bravery to live in the
grey. If we are open to it, we can find healing as we discover the
beauty of how we are all interconnected when living from the place of
the soul, rather then from a place of fear.
More then
you previously perceived
Sometimes
deep sadness can be the result of being unaware of or feeling
disconnected from our own true nature. As you express unconditional
love, you become more than you previously perceived yourself to be.
Such as how the leaves on a tree become
illumined when the suns rays spread its golden light, we can
illuminate our own souls when see ourselves through loving eyes, and
as an integral part of the divine.
Drawing in the details
Right after I finished this blog, I
felt inspired to go up to the perspective art piece I made years ago,
and felt that it was time to draw on top of the glass with markers,
the details of the leaves in the tree, and the details of the persons
face. I crossed out the word fear on my forehead, and wrote in the
word love, and drew a beating heart on my chest.
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