Saturday, September 7, 2013

From behind the scuba mask, by Lia Mandelbaum

Over the past few centuries, society has spent a great deal of time focusing in on discovering the magnificent wonders of life outside of oneself. Some of these wonders include the explorations of outer space, excavations deep into the earth, and exploring the rich inner space of the ocean. At this point in time, I strongly believe that for the betterment of society, there must be the commitment towards the journey of exploring and diving deep into our own inner worlds. This inward journey can help us to magnify our full presence as we engage within the world, and help us to discover the majestic universe within each of us. Although it is not easy, I have found the cliché to be true, of how the process of understanding how we are all an integral part of the divine, to be enlivening and fulfilling in a way that just looking outside of oneself does not.

From behind the scuba mask
When I was just a little kid, I used to love to put on a scuba mask and spend hours at a time just floating face down in our pool. Aside from the noise made by the pool filter, and the voice of my mother checking in on me to see if I was okay, there was a silence from fully immersing my head under water, which I loved and found to be incredibly soothing.

A few years ago, I made a piece of art from the perspective and angle of behind the scuba mask, and wanted to capture the headspace of silence and non-judgment I felt when floating under the water. This time however, I wasn’t just seeing the bottom of a pool on the opposite side of the glass, but rather an image and window into myself as I engage with the world.

On the opposite side of the glass
There was a sense of stillness from behind the scuba mask, however the view on the opposite side of the lens was an image of myself with the word fear written over my forehead. To relay my inner struggle, I inserted a tornado and lightening bolts coming from out of my mind and swirling above my head. I inserted words such as paranoia, resentment, anger, anxiety, and projection, blame and disconnect. It was a powerful experience for me to create an image of myself caught in a whirlwind of fear and relentless negative thoughts, but have the piece interpret myself from a non-judgmental perspective.

Trees and faces
I want to use the rest of this blog to focus in on the images I had placed directly behind me. There is a person with no face, and a tree that is just a green blob on top of a brown trunk with no details in the leaves or the bark of the tree. They are supposed to represent my observation of how when I am in that mental state of chaos, the lens in which I view the world lacks the ability to see the nuances in life. I believe these images are very relevant to most of society, and how we can get so caught up in the chatter of our minds and fears. We miss out on the blessing of getting to truly see others, as well as the deep beauty found in the physical and natural world.

Seeing the sunset
I can remember a time in my life when I would look out at some of the most extraordinary sunsets, yet I would feel nothing. Those moments were very depressing because it reminded me of how dead I felt inside. Today, I feel sunsets on an emotional, physical and spiritual realm. I am able to walk by and just gaze at a tree, and see its nuance, from the details of all the shapes and sizes of the leaves, to the very patterns and deep lines found in the bark. I love it when the sun is beaming directly over a tree, and illumines each individual leaf with a golden shimmer. Those moments remind me of how alive I feel today, and how my own self-awareness has helped me to connect to nature. When I walk by a tree, I can really feel the energy it omits, and the bond that is always there between people and nature. It is invigorating.

Everyone has a story
My mom has always told me, “everyone has a story,” and I have missed out on hearing far too many of them. I am continually learning to not be afraid to look into the eyes and souls of others, and risk the potential of them seeing my humanity as well. We live in a world where far too many people do not “see” one another.

Years ago, my inability to be present and look into the eyes of individuals who were different then me, and that I felt challenged by, was partially because of ignorance and insecurities, and the fear of having to face these hard truths about myself. I have come to find that the truth can truly set you free, and so regardless of how challenging it is sometimes to look deeper, I have dedicated my life towards pushing myself to see others as they truly are, and not what society or I have projected onto them.

Things are not black and white
I have learned that life at its essence is not the dichotomy that society always tries to frame it in, where things are just good and bad, right and wrong. It is often framed as a dichotomy when we feel threatened and don’t see the humanity in those who may not be like us, and/or challenge our belief systems. On my path towards wholeness, I have dedicated myself to opening my eyes to the nuances in life, and have the bravery to live in the grey. If we are open to it, we can find healing as we discover the beauty of how we are all interconnected when living from the place of the soul, rather then from a place of fear.

More then you previously perceived
Sometimes deep sadness can be the result of being unaware of or feeling disconnected from our own true nature. As you express unconditional love, you become more than you previously perceived yourself to be.

Such as how the leaves on a tree become illumined when the suns rays spread its golden light, we can illuminate our own souls when see ourselves through loving eyes, and as an integral part of the divine.
Drawing in the details
Right after I finished this blog, I felt inspired to go up to the perspective art piece I made years ago, and felt that it was time to draw on top of the glass with markers, the details of the leaves in the tree, and the details of the persons face. I crossed out the word fear on my forehead, and wrote in the word love, and drew a beating heart on my chest.





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