Research on the brain has brought our attention to the impact of earlier life experiences on the development of the brain. What occurred in the past can condition our brain to have certain expectations about the future which impacts how we experience our present moment. This raises a concern about the growing up experiences of gay children (Gay here refers to our entire LGBT community) who often experience homophobic mistreatment. Examples of common homophobic mistreatment of many gay youngsters include but not limited to being called derogatory names, being bullied, and becoming subject to physical violence.
Unfortunately, it is common for many gay youngsters to spend many years of their childhood in state of hyper-vigilance in order to be ready for future possible homophobic attacks. Spending many years of one’s life in such state of not knowing what is around the corner or waiting for the other shoe to drop can condition the brain to be in constant state of over reactivity and might cause severe anxiety. It can also cause many gay youngsters to relate to the future with a sense of threat instead of optimism.
As gay people we need to have empathy toward our painful experiences of growing up and work on healing from our past homophobic mistreatment. Fortunately, in addition to psychotherapy, mindfulness practices can help us to stop living life based on our past conditioning. Regardless of our past experiences mindfulness is useful for anyone who desires to be fully engaged with life. In this brief article, I attempt to explore mindfulness and its benefits. My understanding of mindfulness is based on attending several classes at UCLA Mindfulness Awareness Research Center, studying literature, and many years of doing mindfulness practices.
In the 1960s, Thich Nhat Hanh brought mindfulness to the attention of Westerners. Later in 1979, Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn founded the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program at the University of Massachusetts to treat the chronically ill. Variety of mindfulness practices exist today and much of it was inspired by teachings from the East. For the most part, mindfulness involves bringing our complete attention to our present experience on a moment-to-moment basis with acceptance and compassion. With mindfulness we can observe our physical, emotional, and mental experiences with kindness.
We pay attention to whatever is happening in the moment and we can use our sensory awareness to stay fully present. For example, when we wash the dishes we can see and feel the soapy water on our hands. Taking a walk and noticing without judgment how life unfolds around us is another simple mindfulness practice. For LGBT people who grow up in anti-gay environments and had to rely on hyper-vigilance as a survival skill, mindfulness practices can help them to be in the moment without getting lost in catastrophic thinking. This also applies to anyone who is a survivor of any kind of past traumas and need to shift to a more balanced state of the mind.
When we practice mindfulness, we don’t get lost in the memories of the past nor fantasies of the future. When attending to the sensations of the moment instead of getting lost in our catastrophic thinking, it helps us not to feel overwhelmed. For example, we can cope with overwhelming emotions by focusing on external sensation such as hearing the sound of our shoes making contact to the ground that we walk on. This way we ground ourselves in reality and improve our capacity to tolerate difficult emotions.
Often our minds can wander away during the practice of mindfulness. We can witness with compassion how our minds wander away during this process and gently bring our awareness back to the present moment. With practice, non-judgmental awareness of the present moment can be a peaceful way of living.
Paying attention to our breathing is one more way to be with the present moment. Awareness of breathing is the most accessible path to the present moment. Over time, this practice can help us to improve our ability to be in the moment. Each breath combined with acceptance of our moment-to-moment experience can help us to experience serenity.
Mindfulness helps us to regulate our attention and observe our mental activities with consciousness. We bring conscious awareness to our current thinking, feelings, and sensory experience. For example, we can label our thoughts as we mindfully notice things like “planning” or “remembering.” We can also label whatever emotions we are experiencing in the moment by labeling them as “feeling anxious” or “feeling calm.”
Having an attitude of curiosity toward our surroundings helps us to notice and engage with life in a new way. We can embrace curiosity while practicing mindfulness is by paying attention to our environment. This simple act of curiosity can help us to find another path toward present moment. The greater awareness that we bring to our current life, the more we can be part of life.
Finally, the practice of mindfulness can be enriching for anyone including LGBT people in order to live a more present-centered life. This state of active, open attention to our present moment can help us awaken to our life experiences instead of letting life pass us by. Mindfulness can help us avoid living a life based on multi-tasking and maintain our connection with the present moment.
© Payam Ghassemlou MFT Ph.D. is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (Psychotherapist) in private practice in West Hollywood, California. www.DrPayam.Com
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